People often ask me, “How do you just write something about a game or whatever? I could never do that.” My usual reply is that it is quite simple if I think about it. Just write how I would talk about it.
Too many times some try to come up with some exquisite words to describe something, kind of like I just did by using the word exquisite, which is a word I do not use in verbal conversations…probably never have. So I just try to write exactly what I would have said about the game if I was talking to someone in person. 
Every sentence I write; every punctuation mark I insert––I’m thinking about my former English teachers. Really, I am, and I have not yet heard from one about how terribly I butcher the English language or where a comma or semi-colon went wrong.
I did have to learn to write in AP style for my game stories and such, but when I write this column I can just let it flow mostly…that’s if our proof reader lets me leave in a can’t instead of a cannot. She really doesn’t like contractions, words such as ain’t (I stuck that in there just for her), haven’t, don’t, isn’t and so on and so forth.
I do try to leave contractions out of my game stories, but leave them in my quotes because that is what that particular coach said, and I believe that’s what the reader wants. Did you notice my usage of that is and that’s in the same sentence? I’m sure there may be a name for that, but I never claimed to be a literary scholar, so I digress.
Digress is a word that I never use when verbally speaking to someone either. I have never written touché in a story, and would never use it in a conversation with a buddy––I am sure they would think something was wrong at that point. For instance, Ole Miss has beaten Alabama two years in a row...touché, Bama won Saturday. I’m assuming that was the proper usage of touché, but I don’t really know; therefore, I do not utilize that word verbally or in written form. It just doesn’t go with sports in my humble opine, and would sort of take the edge and grittiness off of a four-quarter gridiron brawl in rain-soaked conditions, which there was no rain, I just added that for dramatic effect.
Being a wordsmith, which is a skilled user of words, which I don’t reckon I am…I just throw a lot of THEs and THATs around with an occasional big word like AFOREMENTIONED, hoping that some readers can halfway understand that a game actually did take place and where and who won it. The next order of business is to get the names of the participants in the aforementioned (-: hypothetical game spelled right and with the right stat line. That is how it is (it’s) done from your friendly neighborhood sportswriter.
Do not use contractions; unless of course you are in a hurry or you are quoting it and do not ever misspell somebody’s name. If I write someone’s name and it is not spelled right, it’s totally not my fault and I will place blame directly on someone else like a coach or my publisher or maybe even the proofreader.
I will do punctuation the same way; it’s never my fault, ever!!! Oh yeah, if you ever see a grammatical error that made it to print, just believe me that I put it there on purpose because I believe perfection indicates weakness. There is nothing like a grammar Nazi…especially on Facebook, but I digress.
