Some of the best advice my wife and I ever received came before we were married. Linda and I were in the hometown of my grandmother and were visiting one of her sisters-in-law, who was affectionately known to me as Aunt Effie.
Aunt Effie and her husband, who had gone on to be with the Lord several years earlier, did not have any children, however they were some of the wisest people I ever knew when it came to a lasting and happy marriage.
As Linda and I visited Aunt Effie, who was in the hospital and in the last days of her life on earth, she called us close to her bed to tell us something. She grabbed my hand and one of Linda’s hands and told us that the secret to a healthy marriage and a loving marriage was to never go to bed angry at each other.
“Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled,” she said.
As I look back over the 41 years that Linda and I have been married this is probably one of the best pieces of advice that we could have ever received. As all marriages do, we have had our share of disagreements, but we never let them get in the way of our love for each other and we always settled our problems before we went to sleep. For us this has been a great way to maintain our health, home, and a loving relationship.
We have raised our children in a home where love abounded, and quarreling was a short time adventure. We have taught them that it takes two to argue and the one in the wrong usually does the most talking. I hope that each of them has learned that when you have done something wrong, be ready to admit it and ask for forgiveness. They have been told that if you criticize do it lovingly and do it in a constructive way. Raising one’s voice can create tension so yelling should be avoided at all times, unless the house is on fire.
The Bible tells us in Proverbs 17:14, “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so, drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”
This verse says a quarrel is like releasing water. The smallest break in the dam sets loose an uncontrollable flood.
It is my opinion that many quarrels can be stopped before they begin. One of the best ways to do this is at least once every day try to say one kind or complimentary thing to your partner.
PRAYER
Lord, thank you for loving me and my family. Protect us and put a hedge around us. Lead us and guide us in your wisdom and let us be a light unto the world. Amen.
Suggested Readings
Sunday - Proverbs 15:14-18
Monday - Isaiah 45:8-10
Tuesday - James 4:1-3
Wednesday - 1 Timothy 3:1-7
Thursday - Proverbs 26:17-21
Friday - Proverbs 20:3
Saturday - 2 Timothy 2:14-17
