I believe a Southern woman is born not made. I hear the songs that have been sung through the years about Southern Belles, and I have often wondered what makes us so different from the “Northern belles”?
I have decided it is our Southern charisma, AKA our Southern charm. Even the Southern gentlemen have this quality. Our Southern men open our car doors, pull out our chairs, call us “darlin,” help us up from our seats, steer us around mud puddles, lift heavy objects for us, and I could go on and on about the niceties done for us.
But, the main thing I believe that makes others call us Southern Belles is our way of speaking. Sometimes what we call others or our remarks to others seems to be such a sweet sentiment when it’s actually a patronizing assertion. If I am tired of hearing about someone’s maladies I usually say, “Well bless your heart.” I’m not really blessing her but rather telling her I am ready to stop conversing.
And if I am feeling really understanding that day I might say, “Now ya’ll call me if I can do anything, and I’ll cook for you.” We have always thought a covered dish cures what ails you.
Other things I find myself saying are, “They’re just too big for their britches.” I don’t suppose I always reckon. I don’t push a shopping cart; I push a buggy. We eat dinner at noon, and supper at night. If you say something dumb, I might say you’re dumber than a sack of rocks. We always drink a Coke no matter what flavor the drink is. We change our channels on our television with a clicker not a remote. When something breaks, it’s not broken but tore slap up. If asked where I’m from, I tell them Kosciusko is my stomping grounds. Sometimes I get the short end of the stick, and I “ain’t” happy.
My daddy used to say he knew a woman that was ugly enough to stop a freight train or dumb as a spayed roach, and he was always asking for me to give him some sugar.
Well, I’m fixin to give you a really good recipe for one of his favorite meals — Mustard Greens.
MUSTARD GREENS
1 bunch of tender mustard greens
2 smoked ham hocks
2 cans of chicken broth or homemade if you have it
1 tablespoon vinegar
enough water to cover (if not covered)
salt and pepper
Bring to a boil and simmer for one hour on low heat. I serve cornbread and baked sweet potatoes.
(When we eat these, I sometimes add a little sugar to my helping. It’s good.)
