To the Editor,
I’m writing this letter to the editor to make sure that some very good news gets out as widely as possible to everyone in the city limits of Kosciusko who owns an ATV (all-terrain vehicle) or four-wheeler, especially ones with very loud mufflers or no mufflers at all. Those in the county might want to listen up as well!
I have it on official word from Capt. David Winter of the Kosciusko Police Department (KPD) that as long as you are on your own residential lot anywhere in the city limits, or have permission to be on someone else’s lot, that you are totally free to ride your ATVs on yard trails and make as much ear-pleasing, loud and roaring muffler noise sounds as you like, without it being considered a “disturbance of the peace” in residential neighborhoods.
If you do happen to have an ATV exhaust silencer, so you can quietly sneak up on deer and turkey in the woods, it can be taken off when riding on private city lots, and those mufflers can rumble away!
The Captain’s official word is that, while some residential city dwellers might claim that the extremely loud muffler sounds of ATV trail riding on a city lot are highly disturbing and even noxious, the KPD does not agree and will not act on such moronic, misguided complaints from citizens. Unlike other forms of disturbing noise on private property which are “disturbance of the peace,” ATV noise receives the KPD good ole boy blessing. Additionally, if any ATV rider is concerned that this blessing might not be the stance of the entire KPD, the Captain reinforced that Chief Dew himself agrees!
This good news means that any city residential dwellers who might want to enjoy a peaceful dinner at home, or garden outside, or sit out and watch birds without them being scared away, or talk on the phone and hear the conversation, or keep a fussy sick baby from waking up, or grab some sleep because they are shift workers, cannot complain to the KPD if the piercing sounds of unmuffled ATVs penetrate into their home or yard with daily regularity, or even several times a day. Binge watching Netflix viewers can’t even complain. If the ATV drowns out the TV, captions for the listening impaired can always be used. Officially, according to the KPD, the right to make noise riding an ATV trumps any activity any other residential dweller might like to do that hinges on a bit of peace and quiet! The ATV prevails!
This is a wise stance by the KPD, because no one in Mississippi needs to spend more time reading anyway. The KPD’s community-minded, progressive stance certainly deserves a big shout out for the men in blue and women also if any exist. They are bravely sticking up for the God-given right of ATV-ers to make noise and wisely ignoring medical evidence that exposure to excessive environmental noise creates stress which chronically injures health. Mississippians are all in good health anyway.
This good news about city residential riding holds true no matter how many hours of the day ATV-ers want to ride in circles around small residential lots, how close the riding is to a neighbor’s home office or bedroom, or whether the trail runs right next to a neighbor’s property line. Per the KPD, citizens cannot have their peace disturbed by an ATV, no matter how loud the muffler, or how close it is to a neighbor’s home or yard, as long as it is on private property. ATV riders who want to set up trails on their residential lots can thank goodness that the KPD is familiar with the Magna Carta!
The Captain did weakly indicate, though ,that riding perhaps should be limited to daylight hours, but when the sun is rising at 5:52 a.m. and not setting until 8 p.m. — and it is light well before and after that — this shouldn’t be a problem. Riding hours could probably start just before dawn and extend to twilight without a problem.
For pre-dawn hours though, it might be best to keep the donuts handy, in case a nervy citizen does dial the police. For twilight hours a beer probably wouldn’t be acceptable, but keeping some “Red Man” on hand to share a friendly chaw might work if per chance a neighbor does misguidedly attempt to summon a law officer.
Also, no matter what, remember this, parents: On your private lot in the city, you also have the absolute freedom to not put helmets on your children when they are on ATVs. You can let them feel the wind in their hair, just as you might do yourself. Mississippi law (what a nanny state!) recently required that children under age 16 on an ATV —whether driving or riding as passengers — must wear a certified helmet if riding on public lands. This was probably some liberal legislator’s idea of how to prevent severe brain injury in children, but it did finagle its way into law. On your own private lot though, you can throw that intrusive governmental regulation to the mud and put un-helmeted children on board. Kosciusko has a hospital with an ER anyway and medivac by helicopter to Jackson is available for only $12,000 to $25,000 or so.
The good news though, can get even better! City ATV-ers can invite their friends in the county with ATVs to come into the city and ride on their property. The more ATVs on a residential lot, the merrier the good muffler sounds will be! If a neighbor or two agree, city residential lots can also be linked together by a trail crossing several lots. Is it permissible to say “hot damn” in The Star-Herald?!
The above should be very good news for county folks with city friends, since Sheriff Nail has announced his department plans to get tough cracking down on illegal riding on county roads. He will also have the audacity to fine riders breaking the law, which might make you wonder if he will seek re-election. Anyway, forget Sheriff Nail. The KPD is holding the door open to ride away on residential lots in the city. This opens up a whole new vista for riding. The mud and slush possible on city lots is just as good as any that can be had on county roads.
I hope all ATV riders find this good news from the KPD as thrilling as I do. As ATV riding increases in popularity, the freedom to have trails on city residential lots and ride from dawn to dusk in total noisy abandonment will make the residential areas of Kosciusko favorably stand out as very appealing places to live. The adult educated population might even stop declining. Future home buyers, especially retirees, will undoubtedly be pleased to hear the soothing roar of ATV muffler noise next door to the home they are considering buying. The KPD has issued a huge carte blanche, or maybe carta blanca, since more people in Kosciusko speak Spanish than French.
Anyway, hear ye, hear ye, calling all ATV riders: The KPD blank check is this. No residential neighborhoods in the city limits of Kosciusko need every suffer again under the dreary and boring silence of peace and quiet.
Beverly Johnson
Kosciusko
