As if by magic, the digital picture frame on my work desk started working again after several years.
It’s loaded with thousands of photos over the last 25 years, many of them photos of my children as they were growing up.
I watch with awe. Did all that really happen? Did I do all that? I thank God for the energy and drive that allowed me to be a father and family man for all those years.
My June 17 anniversary date typically falls close to Father’s Day. I like to think that they cancel each other out obligation wise, but it doesn’t really work out that way. Why is it that men feel more obligated to the wife on anniversaries? Marriage is a two-way street..
I remember when our children were young asking my mother what it was like to interact with a grown child, having raised that person from birth. How could it not constantly blow her mind? She said, “Like anything else you get used to it over time. The memories fade and you deal with your child as they are in the present.”
During the summer months at River Hills Tennis Club, I observe all the parents at the pool with young children. Ah, it seems just like yesterday that it was Ginny and me. No doubt at the time, we were eager for them to grow up and be independent. Now I long for the simple days of just making sure they had sunscreen and a life preserver.
In the locker room, I listened as a dad was helping his toddler change out of a wet swimsuit into dry clothes. “Mom does this better!” the toddler protested. I shouted out, “Mom does everything better!” The dad laughed and replied, “Ain’t that the truth!”
I marvel at all the parents doing their parental duty without complaint and carrying on the next generation. Thank you for your service. Without parents, humanity ends. It’s hard work.
God gives moms the maternal instinct. They love, protect and nurture their young. It’s built into their DNA and spirit.
God gives husbands another instinct, which is not quite as lofty, but it certainly keeps us around and helping. There’s a reason female homo sapiens are receptive year round. No doubt, it’s a bit more than that.
But whether driven by lofty instincts or base biology, the stark reality is that fewer people are choosing to pass these instincts down. The U. S. fertility rate is in crisis at 1.6 births per woman, which sits well below the 2.1 replacement level needed for a population to naturally reproduce itself without immigration. Rates have trended steadily downward since 2007 when it was 2.12.
It’s a worldwide problem. Global fertility is now 2.2 just barely above the 2.1 replacement rate. The global population is predicted to begin declining in 60 years. So much for the population explosion and the Malthusian catastrophe (predicting we would run out of food). Obesity is a far greater problem than malnutrition.
Studies show women are waiting until they are older to have children. The rising cost of childcare, housing costs and financial uncertainty are factors behind this decline. Some studies correlate the fertility decline to the rise of the smartphone.
One hundred years ago, the U. S. was an agrarian society with half the population being farmers. The fertility rate was four children per woman, down sharply from seven a hundred years prior. We have gone from seven children per woman to 1.6 in two hundred years.
Back then, children were free labor. The whole family worked the fields. More children meant higher farm output.
Today, children are extraordinarily expensive, costing an average of $500,000 through college. No wonder the birth rate is declining.
We pamper our children, going to all their athletic games and various recitals. My parents didn’t consider that part of their obligations, although they would attend when convenient. I remember we ate dinner out twice a year—once at a Chinese restaurant and the other time at a Mexican restaurant. Now the average American family eats out or orders in five times a week.
I have a theory. The parents of Boomers were much less solicitous of their children, so Boomers decided that when they became parents, they would be more loving and caring parents. This created a new generation of spoiled and self-centered kids who will be more selfish and less solicitous of their children, starting the cycle all over again.
I can thank Northsiders Ross and Anna Dudley for recommending the best Father’s Day movie I can recall. It’s called Big Fish. It’s directed by Timothy Burton and produced by Academy Award winners Richard Zanuck (Driving Miss Daisy) and Bruce Cohen (American Beauty).
It’s an amazing movie. Wikipedia states, “It tells the story of a frustrated son who tries to distinguish fact from fiction in the life of his father, a teller of tall tales.” It was produced just after the death of Burton’s father. The film extracted many tears from my eyes.
The tall tales in the movie are fantastical and entertaining, reminding me of the many years I told fanciful bedtime stories to my son Lawrence about the adventures of Daniel Boone. How I wish I had recorded and transcribed those tales. Those were happy years.
The end of the movie is so beautiful. The father, on his deathbed, asks his son to tell him how he will die. The son invents his own fantastical tale at the conclusion of which, the father, satisfied, passes peacefully away.
Just like “A Christmas Story” at Christmas, I may be watching Big Fish every Father’s Day from now on. Happy Father’s Day and happy belated Mother’s Day to all the Northside moms and dads.
